I've nothing else to give
towards this life I live
I work, I dream, I try
but it's all a major lie
To say I want my life
to continue without strife
Is the biggest lie of all
my hope's smashed against a wall
I pray for it to end
my life is one big sin
And Hell is where I belong
I doubt that I am wrong
One day He'll claim his prize
for He wants me as His bride
And nothing here will change
the destiny for which I was made
I don't deserve you kindness
it gives to you a weakness
That may be twisted and perverted
and used to discourage
If you know what's best
you won't put friendship to the test
You'll leave me to be lonely
for that's how it's meant to be
pierce my heart
here and now
end my life
I don't care how
end the pain
any way you can
but make it fast
no more can I stand
I've tried and failed
and tried again
but, my soul is forfeit
I'll never win
so end my torment
don't hesitate
kill me now
and end the pain
Alone I lie in a darkened room
Listening to silence, feeling the gloom
My memories haunt, my nightmares return,
The fear starts to build, my stomach churns.
A shadow approaches from outside my door
I pray silently, I can't take much more.
Left alone in my pain, crying, lost, and ashamed,
Slowly my mind starts to make things change
It cloaks and hides the reality
Wiping the memory as far as can be
But, the utter desolation remains in my soul
To torture and torment through ages untold.
Broken, dispirited
torn apart inside
Searching for hope
maybe a reason why
Lost and confused
once more afraid
Blinded by despair
haunted by pain
Betrayal so keen
it numbs heart and mind
Terror so fierce
it won't fade with time
All this from only
awakened memories
Of a childhood innocence
ripped brutally from me.