I hardly care anymore
what they do to me.
Every day seems endless,
a nightmarish fantasy.
When will this horrid dream end
and finally leave me in peace?
How many days will I be able to take
before I have to shriek?
I need help, I know I do,
but, who can I approach?
I'm scared to trust, afraid to even
talk to a single roach.
Will someone finally convince me
that my suspicions are not true?
If no one tries to help me,
then, whatever shall I do?
Once more silence overcomes me and I've drawn into my shell.
People don't even try to draw me out, but, it's just as well.
I'm trying to keep rigid control, but the force of my emotions
Could at any time explode and create whole new oceans.
I haven't cried in a very long time and I'm thinking that maybe I
should.
But, I really do not want to cry, for that would do me no good.
My feelings make no sense to me, confusion rages through my mind.
I'm so very scared to start talking, afraid of what they'll find.
So instead I sit in silence, wondering if anyone notices the change.
Though outwardly I'm not crying, inside are torrents of rain.
It seems that I have gone and separated myself again.
It's almost automatic to be alone when depression sets in.
My moods are constantly changing, none ever lasts a mile.
And, it has occurred to me, that once more I've forgotten how to smile.
I wish that there was some way to cheer up my dreary thoughts.
But, no one appears to care just what my depression is all about.
But, even if they showed they care and asked me what was wrong,
What answer could I give to them? I don't even know what's wrong.
So, while I agonize over what has gotten me down,
I've pulled away from them once more and I wear a perpetual frown.
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